It has been almost a month after me and Jabrik celebrated our first year anniversary of being together. The exact date was on February 21, 2013. I can only say that it is all because of God's grace and goodness that our love can keep growing stronger each day. Why did I mention of God's grace? Because it is only by His grace that grants Him patience to wait us to grow in this relationship. I believe that there is no perfect partner, as well as no perfect relationship exists. But I believe in a GROWING partner, a GROWING relationship. I can witness that it is through our relationship God has beautifully developed endurance, faith, and the most vital thing ... patience.
As a young girl back then, I think that God will give me a perfect man and a perfect relationship. But God gave me something much better. He gave me a growing person. At the same time, he developed patience and faith along side seeing his growth and mine too. I can see that God has used Jabrik as a mirror to see my own flaws too. In comparison to him, I am still emotional, run out of patience easily, uncontrollable pitch of voice, etc. But I can see how God wants me to grow too in these areas throughout his example of life. Our personality is so different. Billy has a very calm temperament, he speaks in a calm tone, not emotional and not easily angered. He has a long breath of patience, long enough that makes him to endure holding his investments through its ups and downs. He is a quiet person, he always thinks before he speak. He is very consistent. Out of more than twenty devotionals sent by email every day, he consistently reads each of it every single day. Billy has learned how to turn resentment toward someone who does him harm to become prayer of blessings for him. He has grown all the way to become simply ... a Godly man. And at the same time, I have developed some of his qualities too in my life.
Many wonders how can I wait patiently throughout the uncertainty that lies ahead? They give me such questions like: "What if three years later, when you are about 27 years old, you break up with him?" "Are you ready for that?" Well, honestly speaking, I didn't think about it. And I do not plan to think about it. The world says, "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" or "Don't hope so much so that you won't be disappointed when it doesn't happen." But what do you think God would say about that?
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
For me, trusting the LORD does not include 'preparing for the worst'. There is no such thing. Try to imagine that you promise a child to buy her ice cream. But when she goes out with you, she brings her own ice cream from home's refrigerator 'just in case' if you forget to buy her ice cream. That's an insult, isn't it? It shows that you mistrust the Giver, the Lord Himself. I encourage you to trust the Lord behind your relationship more than you trust your partner. Human can disappoint you, but God won't. I believe that when God approved us to be together, He will also be the one who keeps it on track. Of course there is part that we must do. But I put my faith in the Lord who holds our world in His hands. My part is to trust and not to doubt. To work more to develop this relationship rather than to prepare for the worst. When I am committed in this relationship, I only see Jabrik, not the other 'possible' guys just in case this relationship doesn't work. The uncertainty, for me, is one way for God to develop our faith. Faith sees the unseen, it sees the impossible to be possible. I don't put my faith on my effort to gain blessing from parents, but I put my faith on Him who is almighty to open the hearts of them. Many is confused seeing on how we don't date on weekends, how I never met her mother, etc. But I can only say that it is not the time yet. The right time will come. And when God reveals it to us, it will be effortless and show to the world that it can only happen because of God.
How can you have such strong faith in your life? "...faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ." (Romans 10:17) A strong faith comes from a strong relationship with Christ, a strong knowledge about Him. We trust people who has developed a close relationship with us for a certain period of time and has shown how trustworthy he is in handling smaller responsibility to the larger ones. The whole Bible is telling the 'history' of God for over thousands of years. It gives the same testimony over and over again, God is trustworthy. God is good and knows the best for you more than you can ever imagine. When He asks you to wait, believe that it always meant for your own good.
I have learned to embrace the season where I am now. The season of waiting. God is preparing me to be a ready Godly woman whom He can use to expand His Kingdom. I always remember the story of bamboo which is told by Jabrik long time ago. The "hairy bamboo" is a type of bamboo which grows in China, Korea, and Japan. It is said that they do not show any visible sign of growth for the first 5 years, no matter how good their environment is. No shoot surfaces, and the bamboo looks as if it has stopped growing. After the 5 years of preparation, however, they grow in the range of 60 to 70 centimeters per day for 6 weeks, reaching over 30 meters in height. For the first 5 years, the bamboos will have grown strong roots which have stretched widely in all directions and often cover over 4 kilometres in distance underground. Bamboos only grow upward. They do not grow side branches, but grow towards the sun. Even when they reach 30 meters in height, they will not be broken or uprooted in the time of storms. They are not broken because they not only grow straight, but produce regular nodes in their trunks and have roots spread out for hundreds of meters.
The nature of the bamboo, which is thin but strong and straight, is like a strong foundation of patience and silence in the process of growth. The successful Christian life is built on times of patience and earnest prayer. So don't worry about what happening in your life right now. Instead, start speaking your faith of tomorrow. I, too, is growing in this. I am visioning how me and Jabrik receiving blessing from parents, get married, going to minister the Lord together. I even can envision there is a church inside our womb. God will use us to expand His kingdom. It is a huge responsibility, therefore a longer preparation will be needed. I am thankful that God loves us so much to prepare us all the way before we launch on ministry. Zig Ziglar once said, "Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there." When you are in the season where impossibility becomes tempting sight, remember that character can only be built through tough times. I believe that God allows this season in our lives to make us stronger, more patient, and more dependent on Him for greater responsibility to come. A love can only grow as strong as the wind blows. Things that we get not easily, we will appreciate more. Easy come, easy go. Hard to get, hard to let go. As I am fixing my eyes on Jesus and put my 100% in the goodness of Him, may you too can grow in faith in whatever season you are now. Trust Him. He will always work everything toward a more beautiful purpose than you can imagine.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."