MY LOVE STORY
- A Testimony -
The story which I will write about is more than just a love story nor a fairy tale. It is a true love story [in case you're wondering whether it exists or not, it does!], the one which is written by God alone, as the Author of Love.
The reason I write this is because I see so many people struggle in their love life. Some may in search for their soulmates, some may wait in extraordinary patience, some may in active pursuit without coordinating with God. It leads us to a one-million dollar question whether God really has preserved "the one" for us or it all depends on our own free will while He only provides guidance. I once having difficulty in answering this question. But I always keep in confidence that the all-knowing God will know certainly the best for me. This is more than just talking about whether "the one" exists or not. It does more about how well we know God Himself :) Based on this conviction, I put on my faith in my God and allowing Him to write my love story according to His will. Practically, I prayed and I waited. I listened to His guidance regarding men who passed through my life and I obeyed whatever His guidance was. Please noted here that I obeyed His guidance more than my own feeling. I did not depend on feeling for feeling can be tricked.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
There were times when I sacrificed my feelings in order to follow God's guidance. There were times when I prayed regarding men whom I considered to be with, then I clearly sensed that God said, "No." And I obeyed it because I simply trust in my good God who knows the best for me. This experience may sound awkward to some of you. Maybe you have a doubt that God really cares about the details about your life. Well, the fact is, He does. He even numbered your hair! How couldn't he bother your life-long partner choices? Okay enough for the introduction ;) So here we go, my testimony about what I have seen, heard, and experienced about God-written love story ;)
I came not from a harmonious family. When you are in that kind of family, it is easy not to trust that there is such thing called 'true love'. But when I was 15 years old, I accepted Christ as my Savior, and being mentored by Mrs. Gloria Adhitya. She has been the living witness of God to me. I saw her marriage was extra-ordinary and her love story as well :) Her husband was her first and last boyfriend for seven years and their relationship even began with a true confirmation from God. It gave me a glimpse of hope. As I began to look for more 'evidence' of true love, I am convinced that those who are truly truly [emphasis added] living for Christ do have a great marriage beyond most couples. By then, it doesn't merely give me a glimpse of hope, but a fire of passion, a divinely purpose, that I want to have such kind of marriage, and I will [by faith and God's grace]. It doesn't stop there. When I was 19, I consumed lots of Christian books regarding Godly relationship, and it shaped out my vision to help young generation to build a Godly marriage, family, and a home. That made me who I am today.
I was committed to wait to build a relationship until I am ready for marriage. I wanted my husband to become my first and last boyfriend. [Okay, it works differently for some people. We may don't share the same longing or experience here]. But I have faith in it :) Back then, I knew that I could not build a relationship with Senior High School guy who still depended on their parents for living. So I decided in my heart that Senior High School moment exactly was not the right time to build a relationship. The same thing went through when I was in college. I just had not meet yet with "the one" whom God impressed in my heart. Oh by the way, I have list of characteristics whom I wanna be with for the rest of my life ;) It's a hint for praying specifically :) Thank God I wrote it down haha :D I wrote this list on April 4, 2010.
I believe that he is a guy who ...
1) Loves Jesus more than ANYTHING
2) Has the same passion and vision to serve Jesus and people
3) Always wants to learn and improve himself toward His likeness
4) Loves me as God loves him
5) Humble and not self-centered
6) Honest, reliable, has a good sense of humour
7) Definately not smoking (care for his health)
8) Completely secure, confident, love himself
9) Willing to work hard yet always prioritize family and relationships
10) Good looking (hehe), tall, white, smart
I want to be faithful even I haven't met him yet.I know our meeting will be special and I will wait for you with all or my heart. I love you.
The lists should not be attributes to satisfy our flesh. But I tried to be honest on my list (see point no. 10? :D but of course, it's not the top of my priority). We need to ask God for His guidance too. Different kind of faith will be unnegotiable. Why? Because I am deeply convinced that a strong faith in Jesus will be the srongest foundation ever to build a house of marriage.
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain - Psalm 127:1
The one who share the same burden for ministry and have determination to grow in Jesus will also be my top priority. For I know what God called me to be and being partnered with a man of God will definately support my calling too :) To create an extra-ordinary marriage from the very beginning, we need to partner with man who wants the same thing too ;)
Talking about lists, I was deeply inspired by the list made by a great woman of God, Ruth Graham. At first, she decided that she would be a single life-long missionary unless there was a man whom fulfilled her list as her partner of life [what a high standard!]. In case you're wondering what were the lists, here they are:
If I marry:
1. He must be so tall that when he is on his knees, he reaches all the way to heaven.
2. His shoulders must be broad enough
to bear the burden of a family.
3. His lips must be strong enough to smile, firm enough to say no, and tender enough to kiss.
4. Love must be so deep that it takes its stand in Christ and so wide that it takes the whole lost world in.
5. He must be active enough to save souls.
6. He must be big enough to be gentle
and great enough to be thoughtful.
7. His arms must be strong enough to carry a little child
Wow.. such a poetic list! But her faith was rewarded ;) She changed her mind when she met ... Billy Graham. The one who eventually became one of the greatest preacher on earth.
What I am trying to say here is ... God-written love story began with faith which is applied in specific prayer plus boldness. We need to be bold enough to ask for the 'rare' thing.. Godly qualities which only a few has. I did not realize where I got such kind of faith.. I guess I was being like a child who trusted fully to the Heavenly Father who more than able to provide what I asked for. Moreover when I asked for a partner whom I will work with in order to accomplish His mission on earth. He would be more than pleased to give me what He also wants to give at the very beginning ;)
Then what happened after I prayed? I waited. Faithfully. Patiently. I always believe that it is God's design for a man to initiate a relationship and a woman to wait and respond to man's initiatives :) Some of us may think that the best place to meet Godly potential spouse is at church. I completely agree with that. It makes sense perfectly. But God can bring up your mate anytime and anywhere. Even in a condition you may never imagine before. My dad enrolled me to a stock analysis course which I often rejected over and over again. I was stubborn enough to decide that ministry would be my path of life and I was not interested to learn stock market. But I obeyed anyway [this obedience led me to God's purpose ;)]. On the first day of the course I met Jabrik, one of the lecturer who have achievement already in stock market since he was 17 years old. It was my first time to know who he was. We did not meet often during the course, for he only taught around 3-4 meetings in 3 months. It seemed pretty hopeless to think that we may develop more relationship that lecturer-student. I did not think much either in that direction. Until the day he contacted me 'accidentaly' for the first time through short messages. The short message was not for me either.. so we can say it as a 'lost' short message whom he intended to send it to someone else. Yet from that moment, we kind of had little conversation for a few times in a week.
I was kind of interested back then. Yet I planned to go to US for a year to study Bible as preparation for my calling on ministry path. I was so eager to go until I decided to sacrifice this feeling and just went away. I surrendered that feeling to God and so ready to bear the consequences along the way [Sometimes we are so impatient to wait on God's timing until we rush into our own plans!] But God's way mostly different from ours. I wrote the experience of God closed the door in my life in
http://faithhopeandlove23.blogspot.com/2012/01/when-god-closes-door.html Yes, God closed the door when my US visa was rejected. I could not believe it at that moment. It really felt like the door being slammed right in front of your face and your dreams scattered around. It was my gloomy moment in life where God actually taught so many things regarding Him. At that time, Jabrik came over to comfort me. Since then, he had been my faithful companion during hard times #hugs. But we did not meet at all. I did not really think that he interested on me since he did never even call nor asked me out. I even sent his birthday present through mail. It was like a sweet friendship 'with a slight hope of different intention' at that time. 9 months passed by until He 'finally' initiated us to meet on my 22nd birthday :D I was so nervous and happy back then #blushing.
How would it turn out? I guess I need to stop here and continue later on My Love Story part 2 :D See you later!