What does it take to make one's relationship last? You may can list many excellent qualities you think will be great to be added into your relationship such as love, trust, honesty, well money management, understanding, integrity, and so on. All of these qualities are meant not to be a choice. It should be all-included into our relationship. Yet there is one thing lacking here ... the one that can only make an unbreakable bond between the two, commitment. Our culture does not give so much respect on this word. It sounds so 'binding', so unfree, so legalistic, and even so 'ancient'. Who cares about that when we are still on teenage years? Who knows whether we will make it up to the marriage or not? Why bother about commitment on the early stage of relationship? You take it so seriously! Well, marriage IS a serious business. About more than half of your life you will spend it with this one person (if you are monogamous). It is not exaggerating when we state that the quality of our marriage will either create a heaven or a hell on earth. I've heard these confessions from married people! Hereby, it is so much important to prepare how to make it truly last. And we do not want to merely survive, but we want to enjoy it joyfully.
How do you view a commitment? The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes commitment as an act of committing to a charge or trust, an agreement or pledge to do something in the future, the state of being obligated or emotionally impelled. Wow.. that sounds deadly serious, doesn't it? Yet commitment in relationship is not an obligation. It is not also merely a promise to do something in the future. God sees commitment far deeper than that. He sees it as an attitude. Its attitude is similar as being loyal to something or someone. There will be no storm so huge that can ever move the commitment itself. Commitment sees no alternative, no way of exit where there is a problem. Thereby, God's standard of commitment stands still even when the spouse is cheating. It knows no exit, no break up, no divorce. Yes, commitment is an unbreakable bond. Imagine how you can safely rely on your mate who views commitment as the way God sees it. You need not to worry, jealous, suspicious, and distrus. You only know ... a sincere love.
Commitment does not happen at once. If you think that you are committed when you are already married, it may be too late to develop its attitude. People who develop a commitment at once can survive out of an obligation. It can become a burden as the
storm attacks. Commitment is a decision that is being developed from our habits even when we are still single. How we are being committed to small things will determine how well we will do greater things. How we face problems when we are still single will determine how we will solve future problems as well. Do we avoid problems? Do we run from every consequences? Do we able to communicate it openly with our future spouse? Can we accept his or her opinion? If we still cannot do well in these areas, then we may not ready yet to engage in a relationship. For what is a relationship without commitment? It will be a feeling roller-coaster and has great potential to break your heart.
When we realize how important a commitment is, we will never go in a rush in making decision with whom we are going to commit to. Before we demand a commitment from others, make sure that we are a committed person ourselves. Develop commitment as an attitude. And seek for the one who adopts the same value as you are. Never let other degrade your respect of commitment. Surely, the world will mock them. Because relationship based on commitment often takes longer time to develop than relationship based on feeling. The world loves get-it-quick scheme. The world cannot wait, but God teaches us that love DOES wait for love is PATIENCE.
Many heart breaks occur simply because we develop intimacy either mentally or physically before a commitment is being settled. An intimacy without commitment is nothing. Ask those who have engaged many intimate relationship without commitment before and you will find that they are never truly satisfied. They are always hungry and thirst for something more, they feel there is always something lacking in their mate now, then they will try to find another. Over and over again. Heart-breaking cycle. As long as we think that there is another option, there will always be. As long as we think there is no alternative and no way out, we can always stay committed to someone. Of course, we do not need to stick with a wrong person whom you know will just drive you away from God, family, and friends. Make a wise and life-changing decision. Leave them and BE HEALED before you start a new one with a basis of commitment on BOTH sides.
Beware that there may be some people who deceives by promising marriage for the sake of physical advantage. Know a committed person by its fruit of deeds and not by his or her words. Aren't this kind of person rare?? Yes, they are rare. They can only be found in the right growing community of God. And never forget that it is NOT your effort which can make you find them, but it takes GOD to make two whole hearts meet at His time. Draw near to Him and trust Him, them He will make your path straight for sure. Isn't it wonderful?
I believe that once you have this unbreakable bond of commitment, your love will truly cast out fear of tomorrow, and your relationship will be a blast and a blessing for all generations. Develop commitment as your attitude NOW, wait for His timing and He will meet you with the one who respect it also, and together build a heaven on this earth!