December 12, 2011

The Great Woman Behind Great Man

When it comes to the idea of the role of woman based on the Bible, many of us tend to naturally disagree. It is said that we have to submit, be quiet, and put ourselves as if we are the subordinates of the man whom we marry with. These characteristics seem weak especially for those who have indulged themselves in many emancipation or woman power message. Yet is that what God truly refer to? Here I’d like to present what true power within women is and its impact to the life of the men.

Firstly, I’d like to discuss the great discussion regarding equality between man and woman which has consistently being argued by many people. Do man and woman really equal? Does the equality depend on merely certain circumstances or do they equal in every circumstance? And the answer is … yes, they are equal but they simply have different roles to play in this life and this equality is being applied to any kind of circumstances. Different does not mean that one has higher or lower position. We can be equal but different. Men are wired to conquer, women are wired to nurture, Maybe that is why most of the guys like adventure more than women, while the women have a kind of instinct to give affection to others. The same thing goes in a marriage. Men are wired to protect, to provide, and to lead. Women are wired to nurture, to support, and to follow one’s leading.

Genesis 2:18 "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' "

Women are meant to be the helper of men. Please noted here that a helper does not mean as a maid in the house ;) It may refer to that a wife can make or unmake her husband. Her support and encouragement will determine the success of her husband.

It’s so sad to see couple nowadays act like they are competitors. When the wife has bigger income than the husband, his pride got hurt. When the husband receives the compliments of others, the wife may get an inferior feeling. Isn’t it wrong? If a marriage is a perfect picture of God’s love to the church, then what kind of relationship it should be? Serving and loving. A man in the house is the head just like Christ is the head of the church. A woman or the bride is the church. We as church proclaim, “I must decrease, he must increase.” The glory of the man is the glory of the woman too. The opposites is true as well. The glory of the woman is the glory of the man too. And what does the man do? As Jesus gave up his life for His church, so does a man sacrifices himself to his wife. It is a mutual relationship, a beautiful harmony. One leads, one follows. One gives, one receives. We do not say, “You are so lucky to have me” or “I am so lucky to have you.” Instead, we say, “WE are so lucky to have each other.” No one receives more credits because they are not competitors. They are already one, a partner of life.

I believe that the greatest tragedy in this life is to have your enemy sleeps in one bed with you. It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? Unfortunately, many marriages have grown cold until love turns to hatred, husband and wife turn to enemy. And all these things usually start from small matters that never be resolved immediately. There is one wise saying, “Never bring you anger to bed.” The Bible even says that we should not hold onto our anger until the sunsets. Yet most of us keeps it until hundreds or even thousand of sunsets for the whole of our life! Our ability to resolve conflict quickly is a sign of maturity. And a marriage can only succeed with the exhibition of that maturity from both sides. Isn’t that a serious business? It is important to note that maturity does not happen simply because we have done with the pre-marital counseling which may last approximately more or less three months. Maturity is a life-time journey in which if we determine to pursue it earlier, we can be better prepared to enter marriage :)

Proverbs 31:10-31

"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 'Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.'

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

From this verse we can know how true if we say, “Behind a great man, there is a great woman.” She makes her husband known well in her town. She brings her husband in the place of respect, not disgrace. She lifts him up, not tear him down. She does not rely on expensive jewelry to upgrade her appearance, but strength and dignity. She is not lazy and not easily give up. She is a good manager of the house (again not a maid:p). She is friendly and optimistic for the future, she always ready to pour out her life for her husband, children, and others too.

I believe that the great make up artist of this kind of virtuous woman is God himself. True beauty lies within a soul who connects well to her savior, Jesus Christ. C’mon.. If we pursue all these things by our efforts, we will be like a barbie doll who has pressure to be perfect all the time. We may think that we have to clean the house but keep being pretty with no sweat (??) Beauty outside fades as the time goes by. If we look for the higher sky, we will always find it. There will always be more pretty woman out there. But virtuous woman who can find? They are rare, worth far more than diamonds, priceless. What will you choose? Will you be the ordinary woman whom we can find everywhere or the priceless diamond who is rare to be found?

Many modern women feel sad when they have to release their career to be a wife and a mother. For me personally, I will keep working but not full-time for sure. The life of our children does not rely on baby-sitter, it in us :) They are our children not theirs. Being a house wife could be the most honorable position ever. Hanna Carol states that, “The hands that shake the cradle can be the hands that shake the world.” Be a wife with a purpose. Be a mother with a purpose. Do not simply become wife and mother because you are on your age to do that. Do not simply become wife and mother because you accidentally become them. Be a wife who determines to lifts up your husband to his highest potential. Applaud him when he arrives there. Do not let others appreciate him more than you do. Be a mother who determines to educate children so well so that they can become a world-changer, not selfish kids. There is no more honorable position to do that. If we are entrusted these roles one day, we have to feel honored. Never let it be our burden. As a woman, we need to dare to say, “My ministry is my home.”

For every home needs a greatest supporter, an excellent wife, and a purposeful mother. By then, her husband’s heart could safely trust in her. In all of his ways, he will be prosperous and blessed abundantly.

There is a great woman behind a great man.

For they are one.

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