December 04, 2011

The Dance of Love

Ballroom dancing is a partner dance presented in a way that beauty and elegance united as one. There is one saying that to find a dance partner is harder than to find a life partner. Because dancing together takes a strong chemistry and connection between the man and the woman. The passion that emerges make the dance is beautiful beyond words. One thing interesting for me is that the man always leads. Whether he is still beginner and the woman is already advanced, the man will always be asked to take the first step forward J We often think that it is the woman who plays more role in partner dance since the woman is the one who makes all those beautiful turning and so on. Yet the harmony of each move is strongly rely on how good the man leads. He is the one who play the major part. If he can lead well, the woman can follow effortlessly J

Another interesting thing that can be found in partner dance is the man leads in a gentle way. He never force harshly his partner to move according to his direction. He simply leads politely and with dignity. The submission of the woman to follow his direction is also one factor that makes their dance is brilliant. I believe that there is an undefeatable power when the gentle leadership of man meets with the humble submission of a woman. God has created man and woman to dance in every day life in such a way to fufill His purpose. But now we face a prominent question here. How does a gentle leadership and humble submission look like?

A gentle leader does not insist a ‘yes’ from others. He shows the ‘yes effect’. He is pleased when others interested and willing to do the same thing, yet he also okay when others still prefer their own way. He never forces, he shows and leave the decision on personal’shands. He never use high intonation voice no matter how upset he is. Moreover he never ever uses violence to get his way. He does not criticize with demeaning words and he never talk negatively about someone behind their back. He knows that words can either kill or build, and he chose to use it to build others. He sees a woman as a God’s gift to be loved, not an object of lust. He appreciates their strength and accept their weakness. He never complain how complicated a woman is, he knows their different and simply try to find a way to understand her J He values other people whether poor or rich, stranger or best friends. He refuses to be shy and starts to reach out first to them. He is interested to know them more for he knows they are God in disguise. At last, woman who loves God seeks God’s image in a man. A gentle leader is the ONLY one whom a woman can make a most beautiful dance ever with.

Sometimes people mistakenly think me for waiting a ‘perfect’ man who does not exist. But a gentle leader is not a perfect man, he simply is a growing man who keeps learning from his mistakes and improve to become more like Christ. It will be such an exciting journey to be with a man who is never the same day by day. His physical look may getting older, yet his heart shines more astoundingly. There is no reason I cannot love him as the day passes, I love him more and more indeed!

How about the humble submission look like for a woman? Submission does not mean being weak, it is an attitude of trusting one’s leading. A woman who knows his man submits to Christ need not to worry his leading. A woman who submits completely to Christ need not to be in control of everything since God is the one who is in control and she can rest peacefully under His care. A woman with such anattitude lives in peace daily and loves more freely. She has nothing to hold her back. She has nothing that conquers her besides the love for Christ. She does not keep any bitterness, unforgiveness, envy, bad prejudice for others, and self-pity. She has only one thing that makes her heart troubled... people who has no Christ in their life. She allows herman to make decision and get through all the consequences patiently when it turns out to be the wrong one. She prays for his man to be able to hear from God in every matter and she does not pushes his man directly with an attitude of control. Humble submission is simply a heart that trust and wait patiently for God to work on her man’s heart. It can take longer time rather than the woman say it directly to the man. Yet it allows God to work naturally without our control. Imagine that when we dance with our man, we complain for every step he take and recommend him to go to the opposite direction. I bet that the dance will be full of quarells, pulling and pushing, and certainly will not be beautiful to be watched at all haha :D

I believe that we need to submit only for a man who fully submits to Christ. This statement is for those who has not married yet and still can choose your future spouse. For those who already get married with the one who does not submit to the Lord, it will take a hard work to pray for God to change the hearts of your spouse. It can be a long long process that we want to avoid. Being submit to one’s authority is not easy naturally. Yet as we know and trust the one who we submit to will always follow God’s leading, our submission will be more effortlessly and fulfilling J

There is one’s true story where the wedding day has come and the groom said to the bride, “This is my last day I enter the church.” The bride was very surprised that her groom only go to church with her so far for the sake of marrying her but never truly in love with Jesus whom she loves so much. At that time she was facing two options, either she let the wedding goes on and says “I do” at the altar, or she undone the whole wedding with consequences losing all the money she has paid, the relatives that may be embarassed, and so on. And then ... she left him. She was sure that marrying a man who does not love Christ would be a nightmare for her. All the wedding stuff is not worth it in comparison with her love for Jesus Christ, her ultimate groom. I believe that many couple experience the same think yet only a few who have courage to do such things. Love always take courage at its core. Love risks it all. And love for Christ is something that completely irreplaceable with a fake glimpse of wedding which soon will turn out to be an endless nightmare.

You may ask, “Does happy marriage only happen to those who love Christ? What about those who are not so religious or have different sets of belief?” With all respect to those who were being described, I believe that there is no more beautiful love than the one who is written by the Author of love itself, Christ. Outside Him who gives us strength from within, our every effort to make a marriage work will be ... a hard work. We will find it very tiring. We think that we are the one who can only change our spouse. While God says that He is the only one who can work in his heart and direct him in the right ways. You know there will be no cheating in Christ-centered marriage not because He forbids it, but because we even do not have any willingness to do it at all. Our desires has been replaced by His desires. What seems attractive to the world is no longer attractive to us. We will always want to love our only one spouse forever. Two become one is only possible when each partner pursues God’s likeness in everyday’s life. They will always meet in the center when they put God in the center of their marriage J I have seen it!! Will you believe on this? Do not let your eyes blind your heart. Let your faith opens the way for God to work on your heart and change it into His likeness J One day, you’ll meet the one who exactly do the same thing for you and Godly marriage is no longer merely a dream.

Back to the most romantic dance ever :p There are some movements where the man lifts up his woman. The woman can jump and the man catches and carries her to the top. This means that there are times that we have to bear burden one another. Her burden becomes his. His burdens become her. Whatever disturbs him, disturbs her too. Thereby hygiene issue, different set of habits, and so on should not be the thing that can crack the whole relationship. They adjust one another, they keep their harmony as their priority over such ‘little’ matters. Would not it be wonderful? I am convinced that in God’s way, a marriage can be a heaven on this earth. It will be full of love, joy, and trust.

Jabrik is a growing man of God and a gentle leader. That is why I can rest at ease for his leading. Together we are and we always will make the most beautiful dance of love ever seen. Many couple meet by the eyes, we meet by the heart. That is why distance cannot separate us. We already are one in Christ.

When God is at the center of two loving hearts, two becomes one will always be possible. When the man gently leads and the woman humbly follows, the greatest harmony will be born.

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