December 13, 2011

Coffee and Milk

If we notice our goods, you can divide them into two categories. There are substitutes goods and complementary goods. As the way it sounds, substitutes mean that the goods can be replaceable. For example, you can substitute a pen with a pencil. Both has similar function and it creates no trouble whether we write our personal note with a pen or a pencil :)Another example of substitutes goods is like a mineral water and a glass of juice, rice and noodles, and so on. We can conclude that substitutes has no demand the two options to be present at the same time, we can choose just one and feel undisturbed with the thing that we do not choose. In our lives, there are many things that we can substitute. But one of the biggest wrong pattern which occurs here is substituting your beloved ones. Sometimes we choose other activity rather than spending time with our beloved and innocently think that it has no impact to our relationship. Or even worse, we regard our partner as a substitute product. When we have found better one, we substitute him/her. Surely most of us do not plan to substitute our partner, yet some of our actions tend to drift us away to the opposites that we never even plan it. When we consider people as substitutes, there will always be dissapointment. Because we will always seek for a better one and never feel enough. Until we settle in our mind that partner of life is not substitute goods, divorce will enter in our mind as a way out when the boat of marriage is shaken by the storm.

So is love a complementary goods in which without one we cannot go on? Not true as well. How needy it would be if we think we have none without our partner. Love is built the strongest with two individuals who can stand alone at their feet but they simply want to walk side by side to reach a common goal. They realize they can reach it by themselves, yet they just do not want to. They are willing to share the success and the failures, the good and the bad, go through the negotiation and long discussion to reach mutual conclusion, and they are willing to sacrifice their selfishness for other's own good. They realize by going together, it can make them longer or shorter to reach their goals. It will depend on how well they cooperate as partner of life. They take the risk not because 'it is better than to be lonely' but because they know when they accomplish it together it will be far more rewarding. As an iron sharpens an iron, so one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17). If we want to be sharper in character, never go alone. But if we merely want to reach a goal and do not seek for other's interest, it'd be better you go alone.

So what things that suppose to be complementary goods in our lives? If it is not life partner, then what? Think about coffee and milk. Surely these are complementary goods. Yes we can drink coffee without milk but it will be a bitter coffee. So does love with no faithfulness. It will be a bitter love. How many broken hearts out there which caused by unfaithfulness? Countless. Bitterness is a poison of heart which in the end leads to the heart itself. Bitterness makes a heart cannot love anymore.. And what is the best word to describe two people living together with no love in between? A stranger. Or even worse, an enemy.

We might be thinking that faithfulness is a quality which can be developed once we ready to 'settle'. But God clearly teaches us that if we cannot be faithful in small matters, we cannot be faithful in bigger things too. If we cannot be consistent in doing what we can do for now, we can hardly imagine to be consistent to do things we have not done in the future. I dislike routine stuff personally. I love doing things differently from day to day. Maybe that is why I love surprises. Yet God convicted me today that in daily things He teaches me to be consistent. In doing things over and over again we can become better at it. In boredom, He is teaching you a lesson ... to be faithful.

Faithfulness is the seed of trust. We can trust someone when we already see his consistency in doing things he can do for now. We can rest safely when we give new responsibility to those who are known well as faithful person :) Faithfulness makes someone becomes trustworthy :) One factor that makes a love grown cold nowadays is the lack of consistency :) We expect our partner to trust us but we ourselves are not consistent in showering them with love. Do not blame a woman when she becomes suspicious when you do not even sow a seed of faithfulness that makes you trustworthy.

Just as milk gives a taste to the bitter coffee, faithfulness brings flavor to the love. Moreover, it makes the coffee tastes so much better. They should be complementary for one another, dependent. So
it is not the two who are in love which completes one another, but the faithfulness, consistency, and commitment which will complement them.

Will you add milk to your cup of coffee today?

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